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So you're taking a test. Yes, another earth science test and this time you even studied. But when you read the questions they just don't seem to make sense. You check to be sure you weren't given a foreign language version by mistake. No, this is English alright but it's sure not the same language you or any of your friends speak. It's some kind of weirdo science-English and it might just as well be Korean or even Chinese. If you knew what the question was asking maybe you could answer it but this seems hopeless. It's not fair!

But wait! Captain Earth Science has the answer. That's right, his new E2E 1000 'Universal English to English' translator will save the day. Just type in the question exactly as it appears on the test.............................

 

then press "Translate"...............and just as fast as you can say 'potential evapotranspiration', the Universal English to English translator will translate the question from English into ...................................English you can understand!                                                                                                

 

 

And there's more good news.  The E2E1000 is fully approved for use by all students for tests, quizzes, and even the regents exam itself. It's completely solar powered and also functions as a graphing calculator, an internet browser, a phone, an mp3 player, an HD digital 3D TV/camcorder, a 26 megapixel still camera, a video game console (compatible with all Nintendo/Sony/MS games) and it has a built in 2000 watt CO2 laser capable of burning a hole through 2 inches of stainless steel at a distance of 1000 feet (caution advised).  

 

 

Hey teachers! The E2E1000 can help you too! Ever have difficulty understanding a question from a student. Just hit the 'reverse' button and that question will be instantly rephrased and rearranged into a form even a PhD could understand (see examples below).

Student Question

E2E1000 Translation
[Example 1] Yo! Like you know when I asked you yesterday about like why you was saying everything was goin' one way in the north but it was goin' like the other way in the low pressure thing? So yeah, like how come it don't ever happen the other way? May I please go to the bathroom?
[Example 2] So like say you had mass on Earth an volume an everything and you was goin' to Jupiter or maybe like a star but like while you was goin' you was like workin' out and takin' steroids and junk an like you got like really massive, you know what I'm sayin', so is that like a black hole or somethin'? May I please go to the bathroom?

So what are you waiting for? At only $19.95* it's a steal!

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